I am, I said

“Write only if you cannot live without writing. Write only what you alone can write.”
― Elie Wiesel

And so it has come to this. I must write. I have, in fact, been writing down my thoughts for some time now. I will make them somewhat public here- for those who care to partake. I’m not sure why. But I feel I must. It’s a kind of catharsis for me, I guess.

Catharsis: “a purification or purgation that brings about spiritual renewal or release from tension”. It can also be a medical term that helps you, um…well…purge.

I was talking to a pastor who I meet with regularly and I said something along the lines of…”I feel the need to find my voice again. I have never been a very passive; background-kind-of guy; I have always been active and vocal. And if I don’t speak up, it feels like my only choice is to wander slowly into a corner and sink into a dark, lonely place. I don’t want to do that. I want to be engaged with people; to interact. But to do that- for me, I have to be able to articulate who I am and what I believe”. He asked me if I was ready to do that. I said I don’t know- as ready as I’ll ever be, I guess. I don’t know. He said: “well you don’t want to be saying something that’s always changing”. And my immediate response was- “why not?”

It was a moment of clarity. For both of us. “good question”, he said. “you’re right”. We went on to talk about the concept of an ever-changing; ever-evolving faith. It’s what he embraces; and maybe it’s why I have connected with him.

I have found that I process things best by relating with people; by engaging in conversation- interacting. I can tend to isolate, but that has never served me well. And in isolation, I don’t grow as a person. It’s an easier way to live- just not a better way…for me, anyway.

Maybe you will find this helpful. Maybe it will stir you- make you think. I guess that’s what blogs are for. In the days to come, I will share some thoughts on faith, life, love, etc. I have been a man of faith for all of my adult life- almost 40 years. So that will be the subject of much of the conversation.

And that is what it will be- a conversation. Not a place for me to announce what is right and wrong in the world, but a place to begin and continue a conversation with others. Those who think the same and those who think differently. And those who maybe are willing to change the way they think.

May we all fall into the latter category. Those who are willing to change.

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